How do you know?

Every decision you make in life can be the best decision or the worst. You make them because of the decisions others have made or in spite of them. You pray they are the right ones. You prepare for the chance they could be the wrong ones. Sometimes they are a little bit of both.

How do you know? How do you know when you've made the right decision? How do you know it's the right one for everyone? For you, for your spouse, for your children, for your other loved ones, for your friends, for the stranger in the car you passed on the road? Those big decisions and those little ones impact so much of your life and the lives around you. How do you know when they are the right one? How do you take that chance they could be the wrong ones? How do you learn to live with outcome when they are the wrong ones? How do you make a decision and know it's right for everyone?

I've made decisions in my life based on the things I've learned growing up. Some good and some bad. I've made decisions in spite of the things I learned growing up. Also some good and some bad. And I've made decisions that have gone against everything I believed because it meant following my heart.

In my youth, the decisions were quick and careless and had consequences that I muddled through as only the young can. Some changed my life, some changed me. Some even lead me down paths that have made me happy but weren't always the best ones. Then I grew up and my decisions were not so much about being right and wrong and muddling through the wrong ones. My decisions became more about the people I loved and less about me.

So there in lies another how do you know? How do you know when the right decisions are the right ones for everyone? Right for me, right for you, right for us? And what do you do when there is no right decision?

Everyone struggles with these choices. Some of us handle it better then others. Some of us don't handle it at all, but instead keep quiet and let the world do it for us. Some of us push through, grit our teeth through the bad and embrace the good. Some of us never know if the choice we make is the right one.

How do you know? How can you be two people at once? How can you make everyone else happy and yourself at the same time? How do you know when to keep trying? How do you know when to walk away? How do you know if the decision is even yours? How do you know?

Bad blogger for good reasons

I realize I haven't blogged in well over a month and for those of you that are following I'm sorry for that. I have a very good reason though, a few in fact. The main one being this: I'm a Mommy!

I have spent the last couple of months putting most of my focus on my son in an effort to help him reach those one-year-old milestones. As has been the case with most of Angel's milestones, he tends to accomplish them during the later half of the scale. He sat up on his own later, crawled later, and now seems to want to walk later. He is almost fourteen months now and has only taken a random single step here and there. I know he will walk when he is ready, but that does not mean that Mommy can't give him help and encouragement to accomplish this goal. I've also been spending more time working on words with him. It has come to my attention that once Angel says a word he doesn't really feel the need to repeat it again... ever! In fact, the only word he does say on a regular basis is Momma. And when I say regular I mean regular. Momma, momma, momma, momma momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma. Over and over and over and over again. Some days it's amusing and some days I have the urge to find earplugs. He has said all the normal words required of his age but since saying them once or twice he refuses to say them again and finds in quite amusing when Mommy tries to get him to say them. Stubborn and I have no idea where he gets it from. :-)

Then there was that added surprise back in January. Have you ever had the feeling something was happening and yet you just know that can't be it? Word of advice, always accept the feeling is right.

For those of you that may not have heard, I'm pregnant! Yup, it's true. I'm 12 1/2 weeks and due early September. I have never in my life been more shocked or surprised by anything as I was when I found out I was expecting Sweet Pea.

With Angel, he was still a surprise but something of an expected one since we had been trying for a year and a half to conceive. So his timing was a surprise but the blessing that is Angel had been planned for a long time. Sweet Pea, on the other hand, was a total and complete shocker. Such a shock, in fact, I almost hyperventilated when I saw that second line show up meaning positive. Never for a moment, even that first shocking one, did I not want him/her, but Nick and I had recently even talked about waiting another year for a second child. To tell you the truth, the thought of two kids under the age of two was a little scary. Some fears you just have to embrace and conquer though.

So between an independent, crazy toddler and the early stages of pregnancy I've been juggling a lot, but no more the most moms.

I promise to blog more with updates on my pregnancy, Angel's accomplishments, the life of an Army wife and marriage in general, and just being me!