If you're a mom you know what I mean when I say it is all a balancing act. Actually, dads should know too. Being a parent is all about figuring out the balance in it all. Which battles to fight with you toddler, whether or not your one-year-old uses her fork or her fingers, going to bed with that one little car or the huge truck, getting the ponytail in or just letting her hair go wild since we are staying home.
My every day is a balance from the moment I wake up. My first decision in the day concerns whether or not to let Angel watching Netflix on his iPad because it will make him happy and I can sleep till the sun actually rises. My second decision is whether or not to let Bella fuss for a few minutes because if she wakes up and Angel isn't in the room with her is a stage 5 meltdown.
My most recent larger balancing act comes in the form of Angel's ABA therapy. In three months we will be uprooting Angel's entire world to move to Hawaii. It means changing his home, his routines, and his therapists. All of his therapists. I am fully aware of how hard this transition could be for him and I'm praying when it happens I'll be able to balance it with the move itself. Right now though Angel's junior therapist, the woman he sees four times a week, Mrs. Casey is having legal troubles with our previous ABA center and has been told that she temporarily can not work. That means Angel doesn't get his therapy. Here's what I'm balancing with that news:
I'm trying to do as much of the same things he does with Mrs. Casey as possible but I don't have the same materials and that makes it a little difficult. So I'm balancing my attempt at continuing therapy with my lack of tools.
I'm trying to balance my anger and sadness that my son is being deprived of a therapy he needs, a therapy he has thrived in recently because of someone's petty selfishness. My child is doing without something that can and has really helped him and that breaks my heart to see him hurt like that and infuriates me to know someone doesn't care about this impact on him.
I'm balancing those feelings with the relief that I don't have to drive him back and forth to therapy because it is physically exhausting and it is financially draining. I hate feeling like this because I know it's not right but I can't help that little feeling of relief lined in guilt.
Every day is a balancing act for me. From teaching Angel to share his iPad while teaching Bella that it is Angel's iPad to making another peanut butter sandwich for Angel while making Bella something new to eat. When you're a parents you're balancing it all and sometimes it's easy and sometimes no matter what you do you'll do it wrong. The best part though is knowing that while I'm balancing the world on my shoulders I've got two sets of little arms wrapped around me to hold me up.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Did you miss me?
I can't believe it has been nine months since my last blog. I could have given birth in that amount of time. No worries though. I'm still a mommy of two.
Angel turned two and has begun his steady incline of taking over the world with his awesomeness. Yes, I know he is now only two and a half and I maybe a little biased but he is the coolest kid in the world after all.
Bella just celebrate her first year and has begun her steady incline of taking over the world with her gorgeousness. Yes, I know she's barely one and I maybe a little biased but she is the prettiest baby in the world after all.
Who will be the conquer? Well its hard to say but I'm pretty sure it'll be a tie. They do make an awesome team when they aren't trying to annoy each other.
When you've got a kid on the autism spectrum a lot of your life gets measured in therapies and the little milestones that may be easy to the neuro typical child are huge milestones for your ASD child because you know that maybe they had to work just a little bit harder to master something. At the same time when you're going through the first year of your baby's life you marvel at all the first she experiences and how amazed she is that she can do them for the first time.
For the last nine months my life has been measured in speech therapies, occupational and physical therapies, ABA therapies and falling more in love with how amazing and perfect my son is. He is smart, really smart. He has mastered his iPad and kills at Angry Birds while taking a break from watching documentaries on dinosaurs on Netflix. He is killer at matching, doing puzzles, anything cause and effect, and he will race you till your legs are jelly, you can't breathe, and you think your heart might stop. Then demand you run some more. The words are still few and far between but they are there. Just recently he has discovered the power in saying "Go!" And when going down the slide or running through the house that word has a lot of power. I see the struggle every day. He wants so bad for me to understand him and him to understand me and I think we do better than most because of our bond. But that moment I ask him to do something that takes him away from his preferred task I see the struggle. And I am here to help him through it till we find a way for him to understand the world and the world to understand him.
At the same time my last nine months have been measured in a whole different set of firsts. Bella has the wild personality. She is the center of the universe and not in that typical spoiled baby kind of way, but in the way that makes you smile and think she should be the center of it all. She will try anything and though now only pulls up and side walks she is this close to those illusive first steps. She absolutely adores her brother. In fact, I'm pretty sure she thinks he is a god. He can do no wrong and when he lets her into his world everything for her is perfect. She is loud and demanding and stubborn and never sleeps but she is also the most beautiful girl in the world. Though we already butt heads like mothers and daughters will do I wouldn't change her for the world.
I've also had my own personal struggles, some of which I am still battling through. I have had my good days and my bad just like anyone else. I'm deciding now that maybe it's time for a new beginning, a new and improved me. Stronger, braver, ready to take on the world kind of me. I'm hoping to share more of the journey with you. I hope that you'll tag along.
Angel turned two and has begun his steady incline of taking over the world with his awesomeness. Yes, I know he is now only two and a half and I maybe a little biased but he is the coolest kid in the world after all.
Bella just celebrate her first year and has begun her steady incline of taking over the world with her gorgeousness. Yes, I know she's barely one and I maybe a little biased but she is the prettiest baby in the world after all.
Who will be the conquer? Well its hard to say but I'm pretty sure it'll be a tie. They do make an awesome team when they aren't trying to annoy each other.
When you've got a kid on the autism spectrum a lot of your life gets measured in therapies and the little milestones that may be easy to the neuro typical child are huge milestones for your ASD child because you know that maybe they had to work just a little bit harder to master something. At the same time when you're going through the first year of your baby's life you marvel at all the first she experiences and how amazed she is that she can do them for the first time.
For the last nine months my life has been measured in speech therapies, occupational and physical therapies, ABA therapies and falling more in love with how amazing and perfect my son is. He is smart, really smart. He has mastered his iPad and kills at Angry Birds while taking a break from watching documentaries on dinosaurs on Netflix. He is killer at matching, doing puzzles, anything cause and effect, and he will race you till your legs are jelly, you can't breathe, and you think your heart might stop. Then demand you run some more. The words are still few and far between but they are there. Just recently he has discovered the power in saying "Go!" And when going down the slide or running through the house that word has a lot of power. I see the struggle every day. He wants so bad for me to understand him and him to understand me and I think we do better than most because of our bond. But that moment I ask him to do something that takes him away from his preferred task I see the struggle. And I am here to help him through it till we find a way for him to understand the world and the world to understand him.
At the same time my last nine months have been measured in a whole different set of firsts. Bella has the wild personality. She is the center of the universe and not in that typical spoiled baby kind of way, but in the way that makes you smile and think she should be the center of it all. She will try anything and though now only pulls up and side walks she is this close to those illusive first steps. She absolutely adores her brother. In fact, I'm pretty sure she thinks he is a god. He can do no wrong and when he lets her into his world everything for her is perfect. She is loud and demanding and stubborn and never sleeps but she is also the most beautiful girl in the world. Though we already butt heads like mothers and daughters will do I wouldn't change her for the world.
I've also had my own personal struggles, some of which I am still battling through. I have had my good days and my bad just like anyone else. I'm deciding now that maybe it's time for a new beginning, a new and improved me. Stronger, braver, ready to take on the world kind of me. I'm hoping to share more of the journey with you. I hope that you'll tag along.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
This is 34
I still can't believe it despite the fact that its been true for almost a week now. I'm 34 years old. I can't believe it because there are days I don't feel that old and days I feel much, much older.
Ten years ago I was living in Florida and living the crazy life of a young woman in her twenties. I was having fun and my only thoughts toward the future was that I wasn't getting married and I wasn't having kids. I wasn't putting much thought into what I would be doing either. Who would have guessed how different things would be.
So this is 34 to me. I'm a mother of two who has too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. I don't eat right, don't get enough sleep, haven't bought myself new clothes since Bush was in office, never seem to get my house clean enough, do laundry at least every other day if not every day, get a hair cut once, maybe twice, a year if I'm really lucky, maybe wear make-up less than that, live in my flip flops because shoes and socks take too much time to put on, and wonder where the girl who wanted to be an author went too.
To me, 34 means being a mother to my almost two-year-old son who has autism. It means days spent doing therapy either at home or in centers. It means doctor appointments and repeating one word 7,000 times a day in the hopes that Angel will repeat it. It means constantly getting him to stand up straight, don't put things in his mouth, don't hit erratically when he gets even the slightest bit upset, and treating that single word he finally says like he has figured out the meaning of life and the whole word should celebrate.
To me, 34 means being a mother to my four-month-old daughter who thinks she is fourteen. It means days of washing the same bibs I washed yesterday because she drools so much from teething. It means bottles and formula and cereal, moving her from the bouncy to the swing to the Bumbo to my arms every five minutes because she gets upset she can't just do it all herself. It means encouraging Bella when she shakes her rattle or reaches for her bugs or just smiles the most beautiful smile in the world because she sees her mommy.
To me, 34 means being a wife to my soldier. It means washing his laundry, picking up his shoes, making dinner, unloading and loading the dishwasher, and sweeping up the dirt his boots track in. It means knowing he will miss most of his kids' appointments and mine and wondering what time he'll be home at night and if he will be called away in the middle of a holiday. It means hearing him leave at 5:30 every morning for pt, the scratch of Velcro on his uniform when he takes his top off, and knowing the first thing he wants to do when he comes through the door every day is kiss me.
To me, 34 means life is nothing like I expected it would be, but being grateful for the journey and the outcome. Tim McGraw has a song about his next thirty years. I might borrow the idea for a moment. In my next 34 years, I'm going to enjoy watching my kids grow up and conquer the world, see new exciting places with my husband, and learn that sometimes being the best for everyone else means do what's best for me first. In my next 34 years I'm going learn if the girl I use to be is still inside the woman I've become.
Happy birthday to me... a few days later. :-)
Ten years ago I was living in Florida and living the crazy life of a young woman in her twenties. I was having fun and my only thoughts toward the future was that I wasn't getting married and I wasn't having kids. I wasn't putting much thought into what I would be doing either. Who would have guessed how different things would be.
So this is 34 to me. I'm a mother of two who has too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. I don't eat right, don't get enough sleep, haven't bought myself new clothes since Bush was in office, never seem to get my house clean enough, do laundry at least every other day if not every day, get a hair cut once, maybe twice, a year if I'm really lucky, maybe wear make-up less than that, live in my flip flops because shoes and socks take too much time to put on, and wonder where the girl who wanted to be an author went too.
To me, 34 means being a mother to my almost two-year-old son who has autism. It means days spent doing therapy either at home or in centers. It means doctor appointments and repeating one word 7,000 times a day in the hopes that Angel will repeat it. It means constantly getting him to stand up straight, don't put things in his mouth, don't hit erratically when he gets even the slightest bit upset, and treating that single word he finally says like he has figured out the meaning of life and the whole word should celebrate.
To me, 34 means being a mother to my four-month-old daughter who thinks she is fourteen. It means days of washing the same bibs I washed yesterday because she drools so much from teething. It means bottles and formula and cereal, moving her from the bouncy to the swing to the Bumbo to my arms every five minutes because she gets upset she can't just do it all herself. It means encouraging Bella when she shakes her rattle or reaches for her bugs or just smiles the most beautiful smile in the world because she sees her mommy.
To me, 34 means being a wife to my soldier. It means washing his laundry, picking up his shoes, making dinner, unloading and loading the dishwasher, and sweeping up the dirt his boots track in. It means knowing he will miss most of his kids' appointments and mine and wondering what time he'll be home at night and if he will be called away in the middle of a holiday. It means hearing him leave at 5:30 every morning for pt, the scratch of Velcro on his uniform when he takes his top off, and knowing the first thing he wants to do when he comes through the door every day is kiss me.
To me, 34 means life is nothing like I expected it would be, but being grateful for the journey and the outcome. Tim McGraw has a song about his next thirty years. I might borrow the idea for a moment. In my next 34 years, I'm going to enjoy watching my kids grow up and conquer the world, see new exciting places with my husband, and learn that sometimes being the best for everyone else means do what's best for me first. In my next 34 years I'm going learn if the girl I use to be is still inside the woman I've become.
Happy birthday to me... a few days later. :-)
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Milestones
Life is full of milestones. As a parent you begin to take notice of the typical ones. The first smile, the first time they roll over, the first time they sit up, crawl, stand, and walk. The first word, first sentence, first time they point to something or ask for something, and the first time they say I love you. From that very first moment it is all about milestones for your children, but there are milestones as a parent too.
That moment when you find out you're expecting, the first ultrasound, the first heartbeat that sounds like a washing machine, and that moment your precious baby comes screaming into the world. That's just the first nine months. There's also that first night you survive getting up every couple of hours, that swelling in your heart when that soft little head lays against your chest, and that first bath when you have managed to keep the baby above water but soak yourself.
So many milestones and we take so many of them for granted. Notice them, as many as possible.
Lately I've noticed a few and I'm so grateful I took the time to catch them. My baby girl, my Bella boo, is reaching and grasping. She loves to beat up her butterfly on her car seat, smack the bugs attached to her bouncy seat, and shake her rattles until she forgets how to let go. My itty bitty baby has become aware of her surroundings and is interacting with them. I'm so proud of her and can't wait to see what new thing she figures out next.
I've also noticed that my snuggle bear, my Angel has accomplished so much recently. In fact, today alone we had two huge accomplishments. The first being he mimicked Mommy saying ball. He's never done that before and I was so proud. There was lots of encouraging words and clapping and cookies involved. The second was that he passed his target goal of commands. Commands being his attempt at communicating be it vocally or with signs. A "normal" child his age has 900 commands a day. Angel's target goal in a four hour period is 50. When his ABA therapist left today Angel had 57 commands on the counter. For most moms this may not seem like much but to this mom is it a huge deal.
These are the milestones that make up my days. All those precious ones that are occurring in Bella's first year. Every tiny new thing she does that makes my heart swell is so amazing. I'm so proud of her and so in awe of her as she explores her new world. She makes me want to pull all my hair out some days but she is still my favorite daughter, still the most beautiful girl in the world, and still one of the loves of my life.
All those amazing things Angel accomplishes in overcoming the obstacles of autism make my heart swell as well. I am so proud of how much he has learned and succeeded at in this journey. I'm so proud of how proud he is at everything new he is learning to do. There are moments I wish he could just tell me what he wants or how he's feeling but he is still my favorite son, still the most handsome boy in the world, and still one of the loves of my life.
Life is full of milestones. For your children, for yourselves, for everyone. Take the time to notice them, to celebrate them. They are all amazing and that are markers in this journey we call life.
That moment when you find out you're expecting, the first ultrasound, the first heartbeat that sounds like a washing machine, and that moment your precious baby comes screaming into the world. That's just the first nine months. There's also that first night you survive getting up every couple of hours, that swelling in your heart when that soft little head lays against your chest, and that first bath when you have managed to keep the baby above water but soak yourself.
So many milestones and we take so many of them for granted. Notice them, as many as possible.
Lately I've noticed a few and I'm so grateful I took the time to catch them. My baby girl, my Bella boo, is reaching and grasping. She loves to beat up her butterfly on her car seat, smack the bugs attached to her bouncy seat, and shake her rattles until she forgets how to let go. My itty bitty baby has become aware of her surroundings and is interacting with them. I'm so proud of her and can't wait to see what new thing she figures out next.
I've also noticed that my snuggle bear, my Angel has accomplished so much recently. In fact, today alone we had two huge accomplishments. The first being he mimicked Mommy saying ball. He's never done that before and I was so proud. There was lots of encouraging words and clapping and cookies involved. The second was that he passed his target goal of commands. Commands being his attempt at communicating be it vocally or with signs. A "normal" child his age has 900 commands a day. Angel's target goal in a four hour period is 50. When his ABA therapist left today Angel had 57 commands on the counter. For most moms this may not seem like much but to this mom is it a huge deal.
These are the milestones that make up my days. All those precious ones that are occurring in Bella's first year. Every tiny new thing she does that makes my heart swell is so amazing. I'm so proud of her and so in awe of her as she explores her new world. She makes me want to pull all my hair out some days but she is still my favorite daughter, still the most beautiful girl in the world, and still one of the loves of my life.
All those amazing things Angel accomplishes in overcoming the obstacles of autism make my heart swell as well. I am so proud of how much he has learned and succeeded at in this journey. I'm so proud of how proud he is at everything new he is learning to do. There are moments I wish he could just tell me what he wants or how he's feeling but he is still my favorite son, still the most handsome boy in the world, and still one of the loves of my life.
Life is full of milestones. For your children, for yourselves, for everyone. Take the time to notice them, to celebrate them. They are all amazing and that are markers in this journey we call life.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thankful
So in my household we don't really do the whole turkey Thanksgiving thing. Growing up the fourth Thursday of November meant three things. Turkey and football and falling asleep. Well, I don't really like turkey and football and without the first two I never did the third. So it became the holiday I could live without. As an adult it came to mean it was time to put up the Christmas tree and start celebrating the season. It's not that I wasn't thankful for things in my life. I just never associate them with that one particular day.
This year is different. This year I'm thankful for so much I have to share it with the world.
I am grateful for the obvious being my husband and my kids. Nick has always loved me for exactly who I am and called me beautiful for the start. Angel and Bella are the two perfect things I have ever done in my life. I know my entire purpose in being is so I can be there mother and love them the way they love me.
I am grateful for my parents. They always find a way to help me even when they are struggling themselves. They love my kids like no other grandparents have ever loved grandkids before. There is no better Grandpa, Nannie, or Mom-mom in the world.
I'm grateful for my sister and my awesomely perfect niece. Though we don't talk as often as I'd like because of our lives I know my sister loves and supports me and when I really need her she is there. As for my niece, she's an endless smile for me because she is beautiful and smart and will always be Auntie's Monkey.
I'm grateful to the army. Though they get on my nerves and drive me crazy every chance they get I'm grateful my husband has a job every day, that we have a home for our family, and that they provide such great insurance so that my husband, myself, and our kids get everything they need to be healthy.
I'm grateful to Savannah Perinatology for the amazing care I got the 36 weeks I was pregnant with my Bella Boo. My baby girl was a handful from conception and they made sure she was healthy right up to the day she came 3 1/3 weeks early.
I'm grateful to Live Oaks Children's Therapy and Ms. Kristin for helping Angel with his speech therapy. Every week I notice him attempting some new word or sign and that makes my heart swell with happiness.
I'm grateful to Chatterbox Pediatric Therapy and Mrs. Kimber for helping Angel with his occupational therapy. Every time my little boy looks into my eyes I'm overjoyed at the progress he has made.
I"m grateful for so many little things as well. I'm grateful for the way Bella smiles when you look at her. The way she babbles and ohs and ahs endlessly as if she is telling you the greatest story and you have all day to listen. I'm grateful she sleeps through the night so that I can too. I am grateful she is a happy, healthy baby girl despite her early entrance to the world. I'm grateful for the way Angel smiles at me from across the room because we've made eye contact. I'm grateful for his love of books and how he spends hours playing with them, turning page after page. I'm grateful for all the endless hugs he gives me because I know some parents aren't that lucky. I'm grateful for his autism because it's made me realize that even if his life might be harder than most kids it will be the happiest life because he loves and is loved. What more could a child ask for?
I'm grateful for the strength and the patience and the heart that is require of being a mom and a wife. For the ability to never go without anything I actually need. For the chance to live so close to Savannah so that I may enjoy it when ever I like. For my dishwasher since I hate washing dishes. For Lieu, who may not get the attention she deserves all the time but is still the best dog in the world.
I'm grateful for my life because it is mine to do whatever I wish with and it is such an amazing life. What more could I ask for?
This year is different. This year I'm thankful for so much I have to share it with the world.
I am grateful for the obvious being my husband and my kids. Nick has always loved me for exactly who I am and called me beautiful for the start. Angel and Bella are the two perfect things I have ever done in my life. I know my entire purpose in being is so I can be there mother and love them the way they love me.
I am grateful for my parents. They always find a way to help me even when they are struggling themselves. They love my kids like no other grandparents have ever loved grandkids before. There is no better Grandpa, Nannie, or Mom-mom in the world.
I'm grateful for my sister and my awesomely perfect niece. Though we don't talk as often as I'd like because of our lives I know my sister loves and supports me and when I really need her she is there. As for my niece, she's an endless smile for me because she is beautiful and smart and will always be Auntie's Monkey.
I'm grateful to the army. Though they get on my nerves and drive me crazy every chance they get I'm grateful my husband has a job every day, that we have a home for our family, and that they provide such great insurance so that my husband, myself, and our kids get everything they need to be healthy.
I'm grateful to Savannah Perinatology for the amazing care I got the 36 weeks I was pregnant with my Bella Boo. My baby girl was a handful from conception and they made sure she was healthy right up to the day she came 3 1/3 weeks early.
I'm grateful to Live Oaks Children's Therapy and Ms. Kristin for helping Angel with his speech therapy. Every week I notice him attempting some new word or sign and that makes my heart swell with happiness.
I'm grateful to Chatterbox Pediatric Therapy and Mrs. Kimber for helping Angel with his occupational therapy. Every time my little boy looks into my eyes I'm overjoyed at the progress he has made.
I"m grateful for so many little things as well. I'm grateful for the way Bella smiles when you look at her. The way she babbles and ohs and ahs endlessly as if she is telling you the greatest story and you have all day to listen. I'm grateful she sleeps through the night so that I can too. I am grateful she is a happy, healthy baby girl despite her early entrance to the world. I'm grateful for the way Angel smiles at me from across the room because we've made eye contact. I'm grateful for his love of books and how he spends hours playing with them, turning page after page. I'm grateful for all the endless hugs he gives me because I know some parents aren't that lucky. I'm grateful for his autism because it's made me realize that even if his life might be harder than most kids it will be the happiest life because he loves and is loved. What more could a child ask for?
I'm grateful for the strength and the patience and the heart that is require of being a mom and a wife. For the ability to never go without anything I actually need. For the chance to live so close to Savannah so that I may enjoy it when ever I like. For my dishwasher since I hate washing dishes. For Lieu, who may not get the attention she deserves all the time but is still the best dog in the world.
I'm grateful for my life because it is mine to do whatever I wish with and it is such an amazing life. What more could I ask for?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Perfection
Three months ago I brought into the world a beautiful baby girl who weighed 8 lbs 3 oz, was 19 1/2 inches long and had a head full of black hair just like her big brother. In the last three months I have learned a great deal about my Bella Ann. She is strong. She's been holding her head up since the day she was born. She is alert. She see everything I do. She is active. She moves constantly and never sleeps. She has an opinion. She talks all day long. She is happy. She smiles at me every time I look at her and my heart swells with how much I love her. She is my diva princess because as far as Bella is concerned the world revolves around her. Though there are moments she makes me want to pull my hair out and put her on mute she is my perfect little girl. I wouldn't trade her or change her for anything in the world. She is exactly who she is meant to be and because of that I am the mother she is meant to have. I know in years to come we will but heads. We will disagree and there will be those dreaded moments when she says she hates me. She is and always will be my perfect little girl though. She is the love of my life.
Almost two years ago I brought into the world a beautiful baby boy who weighed 7 lbs, was 20 1/2 inches long and had a head full of black hair just like his mommy. In the last two years I have learned a great deal about my Angel. He is kind. He will bring me his favorite toys to hold all the time. He is smart. He will do something until he figures it out. He is handsome. He gets complimented every time I take him somewhere. He is loveable. He will come over for a hug at any random moment and want to be held for as long as you will hold him. He is determined. It is his way or no way and that's all there is to it. He is happy. He smiles at me every time I look at him and my heart swells with how much I love him. He is my snuggle bear because as far as Angel is concerned there is no better place to be in then in my arms. Though there are moments he makes me want to pull my hair out and put him on mute he is my perfect little boy. I wouldn't trade him or change him for anything in the world. I know in years to come we will but heads. We will disagree and there will be those dreaded moments when he says he hates me. He is and always be my perfect little boy though. He is the love of my life.
My children are my world. They are everything I have ever done right in my life. Nothing and no one can tell me they are not the perfect little people I know they are. Even their flaws are perfection to me because their flaws make them who they are.
All that being said I learned soemthing today that changed how I see my son.
Today sitting in a little office with a very kind doctor while my son played with his racecar and my daughter slept in her carseat my perfect little boy was diagnosed with autism. He falls on the spectrum between low and moderate and because we caught it so early the doctor has high hopes that with therapy he will make a great deal of progress. Along with referrals for ABA, language therapy, continued speech therapy, occupatonal therapy for daily activities, and Babies Can't Wait the doctor said the best thing he had to help him is the mom who loves him so much she knew to get him help early, the mom who knew him so well she knew something was differenct about him, the mom who knew no label in the world could ever change how much she loved her little boy.
I'm that mom. You see that diagnosis did change how I see my son. I don't see him as autisc now. I don't see him as flawed. I don't see him as "special." I don't see him as having something wrong with him. What I see when I look at my perfect little boy is a perfect little boy who is stronger then his mommy, braver than his daddy, and more perfect than I could have ever imagined because he was given this mountain to climb and I know he will conquer it.
Today I don't mourn my child getting a label, being grouped with others to be called flawed, or being somehow less than any other child. Yes, I'm sad because I know this means his life will be harder than that of most kids his age, but it doesn't not make me love him any less or view him as less than the beautiful, perfect gift he is to me.
I still have a million questions. I'm still no sure what all this means for my son and our family. There are two things I do know though.
My kids are perfect and I love them completely.
Almost two years ago I brought into the world a beautiful baby boy who weighed 7 lbs, was 20 1/2 inches long and had a head full of black hair just like his mommy. In the last two years I have learned a great deal about my Angel. He is kind. He will bring me his favorite toys to hold all the time. He is smart. He will do something until he figures it out. He is handsome. He gets complimented every time I take him somewhere. He is loveable. He will come over for a hug at any random moment and want to be held for as long as you will hold him. He is determined. It is his way or no way and that's all there is to it. He is happy. He smiles at me every time I look at him and my heart swells with how much I love him. He is my snuggle bear because as far as Angel is concerned there is no better place to be in then in my arms. Though there are moments he makes me want to pull my hair out and put him on mute he is my perfect little boy. I wouldn't trade him or change him for anything in the world. I know in years to come we will but heads. We will disagree and there will be those dreaded moments when he says he hates me. He is and always be my perfect little boy though. He is the love of my life.
My children are my world. They are everything I have ever done right in my life. Nothing and no one can tell me they are not the perfect little people I know they are. Even their flaws are perfection to me because their flaws make them who they are.
All that being said I learned soemthing today that changed how I see my son.
Today sitting in a little office with a very kind doctor while my son played with his racecar and my daughter slept in her carseat my perfect little boy was diagnosed with autism. He falls on the spectrum between low and moderate and because we caught it so early the doctor has high hopes that with therapy he will make a great deal of progress. Along with referrals for ABA, language therapy, continued speech therapy, occupatonal therapy for daily activities, and Babies Can't Wait the doctor said the best thing he had to help him is the mom who loves him so much she knew to get him help early, the mom who knew him so well she knew something was differenct about him, the mom who knew no label in the world could ever change how much she loved her little boy.
I'm that mom. You see that diagnosis did change how I see my son. I don't see him as autisc now. I don't see him as flawed. I don't see him as "special." I don't see him as having something wrong with him. What I see when I look at my perfect little boy is a perfect little boy who is stronger then his mommy, braver than his daddy, and more perfect than I could have ever imagined because he was given this mountain to climb and I know he will conquer it.
Today I don't mourn my child getting a label, being grouped with others to be called flawed, or being somehow less than any other child. Yes, I'm sad because I know this means his life will be harder than that of most kids his age, but it doesn't not make me love him any less or view him as less than the beautiful, perfect gift he is to me.
I still have a million questions. I'm still no sure what all this means for my son and our family. There are two things I do know though.
My kids are perfect and I love them completely.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
I am NOT a bad mom!
I am so tired of hearing I'm a bad mom. No one ever actually says the words but they sure do like to make me feel like I am. Why? I have no idea but maybe it's because I actually like spending time with my son. When I'm with him he makes me laugh all the time. Just watching him play is amusing sometimes. Seeing him express himself and explore and the way he grins and wrinkles his nose are so funny to me. I laugh at and with him every day. Not to mention the affection I get from him. I love the way he snuggles when I first get him out of bed and the way he will randomly walk up to me and hug me in the middle of playing. Who else in the world is going to give you such unbiased, unconditional love, right? Then there is watching him grow up. Every day I see him do something new, discover something he can do that he never could before and I am so proud of him. Nothing about my time with my son is ever mundane or taken for granted and every day with him is the most amazing blessing to me.
Especially when I think back on how long I waited for him and how close I came to losing him. He is such an amazing gift that I genuinely enjoy every day of my life and I know that he loves being with me as well. Being his mom is the reason I was put on this earth.
So Angel gets my undivided attention daily. That means if he cries I'm there to determine if he needs a hug or not, but I'm still there. So if he's "whining" it's because he knows I'll be there whether he is hurt or just wants attention. It also means that no one will watch him the way I do so I won't leave him with just anyone. It doesn't mean anything to me if you like your co-workers and they have 8 kids. Their kids aren't my kids and just because I won't trust my son with anyone doesn't mean I'm "one of those moms." It means I actually care about who my son is being left with. I'm also not going to just leave my son with someone so I can just sit at home alone and do nothing. He is not a burden for me to get rid of. He is my child.
Yes, I have days where he gets on my every last nerve, but I'm human and so is he. I'll still take those days over not having him at all.
Angel is not an "asshole" or "whiney" or a "Momma's boy." He is my son, my child that I brought into this world and who is the love of my life. I am not "one of those moms" that is paranoid about how the world is going to treat her baby. I am Angel's mom and I will spend the rest of my life putting him first in every decision I make just as I do with Bella.
So instead of assuming I'm a bad mom because my kid loves me and I love him maybe you should consider whether or not you're a good parent if you don't think you're as lucky as I am. Either way keep your opinions of my parenting to yourself.
Especially when I think back on how long I waited for him and how close I came to losing him. He is such an amazing gift that I genuinely enjoy every day of my life and I know that he loves being with me as well. Being his mom is the reason I was put on this earth.
So Angel gets my undivided attention daily. That means if he cries I'm there to determine if he needs a hug or not, but I'm still there. So if he's "whining" it's because he knows I'll be there whether he is hurt or just wants attention. It also means that no one will watch him the way I do so I won't leave him with just anyone. It doesn't mean anything to me if you like your co-workers and they have 8 kids. Their kids aren't my kids and just because I won't trust my son with anyone doesn't mean I'm "one of those moms." It means I actually care about who my son is being left with. I'm also not going to just leave my son with someone so I can just sit at home alone and do nothing. He is not a burden for me to get rid of. He is my child.
Yes, I have days where he gets on my every last nerve, but I'm human and so is he. I'll still take those days over not having him at all.
Angel is not an "asshole" or "whiney" or a "Momma's boy." He is my son, my child that I brought into this world and who is the love of my life. I am not "one of those moms" that is paranoid about how the world is going to treat her baby. I am Angel's mom and I will spend the rest of my life putting him first in every decision I make just as I do with Bella.
So instead of assuming I'm a bad mom because my kid loves me and I love him maybe you should consider whether or not you're a good parent if you don't think you're as lucky as I am. Either way keep your opinions of my parenting to yourself.
Monday, May 28, 2012
You have to love life's little surprises
The day I found out I was pregnant with my son I almost didn't believe it. We had been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half and after being disappointed over and over again a part of me had all but given up hope. A heart can only break so many times before there is nothing left to shatter and I didn't want my life to come down to this one thing. I set that dream aside ready to admit that maybe it wasn't meant to be realized. When you tell yourself that and then find out it's come true you almost aren't sure it's real. How many times I saw negative I lost count. Maybe this one was wrong that said positive. Wrong or not though, that hope came back and when the doctor confirmed it I knew one thing for sure. My baby was a miracle.
I didn't care if I was having a boy or a girl. I honestly just wanted a happy healthy baby. For nine months I did everything I could to put my baby first and the day I found out I was having a boy I was overjoyed. A son! What better gift could a mom ask for? I was already in love with this tiny little life I hadn't even met yet. I was even okay when my water broke four weeks early. I was worried more about me then him. Was I ready to be the mom he deserved? It never occurred to me that I should be worried about him, my perfect little miracle. Then he was here and I was scared and worried and faced the worst days of my life. In the end though, Angel Joaquin was perfect and nearly a year and a half later he still is.
My first year as a mom was amazing and it had its share of ups and downs like parenthood does. I wouldn't have traded it for the world though. My son is my miracle and I look at him like that every day, even the bad days. When his first birthday approached I decided I would wait at least another year before having another baby. I thought it the best decision as an adult, a parent, and for Angel. I was completely content to focus on my son.
Life is full of surprises though...
A week after Angel's first birthday I got notified of one of thoses surprises. All the signs were there, but then the signs had been there so many times before without there being a reason. Why should that second little line show up this time when it had been such a lucky miracle before? No one gets two miracles in one lifetime, right?
I got my first miracle in the form of a beautiful little boy named Angel Joaquin who has the most beautiful smile and the quickest temper and makes me laugh every day.
My second miracle is due is September in the form of a beautiful little girl named Bella Ann who is hyper and moves constantly and loves when her brother lays his head on Mommy's tummy.
A daughter. I'm going to have a daughter that I will adore as much as I adore my son. What did I ever do to be so blessed?
Though I'm not planning any more children after Bella I know life is full of surprises and I will be thrilled with any that come my way.
Friday, March 30, 2012
How do you know?
Every decision you make in life can be the best decision or the worst. You make them because of the decisions others have made or in spite of them. You pray they are the right ones. You prepare for the chance they could be the wrong ones. Sometimes they are a little bit of both.
How do you know? How do you know when you've made the right decision? How do you know it's the right one for everyone? For you, for your spouse, for your children, for your other loved ones, for your friends, for the stranger in the car you passed on the road? Those big decisions and those little ones impact so much of your life and the lives around you. How do you know when they are the right one? How do you take that chance they could be the wrong ones? How do you learn to live with outcome when they are the wrong ones? How do you make a decision and know it's right for everyone?
I've made decisions in my life based on the things I've learned growing up. Some good and some bad. I've made decisions in spite of the things I learned growing up. Also some good and some bad. And I've made decisions that have gone against everything I believed because it meant following my heart.
In my youth, the decisions were quick and careless and had consequences that I muddled through as only the young can. Some changed my life, some changed me. Some even lead me down paths that have made me happy but weren't always the best ones. Then I grew up and my decisions were not so much about being right and wrong and muddling through the wrong ones. My decisions became more about the people I loved and less about me.
So there in lies another how do you know? How do you know when the right decisions are the right ones for everyone? Right for me, right for you, right for us? And what do you do when there is no right decision?
Everyone struggles with these choices. Some of us handle it better then others. Some of us don't handle it at all, but instead keep quiet and let the world do it for us. Some of us push through, grit our teeth through the bad and embrace the good. Some of us never know if the choice we make is the right one.
How do you know? How can you be two people at once? How can you make everyone else happy and yourself at the same time? How do you know when to keep trying? How do you know when to walk away? How do you know if the decision is even yours? How do you know?
How do you know? How do you know when you've made the right decision? How do you know it's the right one for everyone? For you, for your spouse, for your children, for your other loved ones, for your friends, for the stranger in the car you passed on the road? Those big decisions and those little ones impact so much of your life and the lives around you. How do you know when they are the right one? How do you take that chance they could be the wrong ones? How do you learn to live with outcome when they are the wrong ones? How do you make a decision and know it's right for everyone?
I've made decisions in my life based on the things I've learned growing up. Some good and some bad. I've made decisions in spite of the things I learned growing up. Also some good and some bad. And I've made decisions that have gone against everything I believed because it meant following my heart.
In my youth, the decisions were quick and careless and had consequences that I muddled through as only the young can. Some changed my life, some changed me. Some even lead me down paths that have made me happy but weren't always the best ones. Then I grew up and my decisions were not so much about being right and wrong and muddling through the wrong ones. My decisions became more about the people I loved and less about me.
So there in lies another how do you know? How do you know when the right decisions are the right ones for everyone? Right for me, right for you, right for us? And what do you do when there is no right decision?
Everyone struggles with these choices. Some of us handle it better then others. Some of us don't handle it at all, but instead keep quiet and let the world do it for us. Some of us push through, grit our teeth through the bad and embrace the good. Some of us never know if the choice we make is the right one.
How do you know? How can you be two people at once? How can you make everyone else happy and yourself at the same time? How do you know when to keep trying? How do you know when to walk away? How do you know if the decision is even yours? How do you know?
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Bad blogger for good reasons
I realize I haven't blogged in well over a month and for those of you that are following I'm sorry for that. I have a very good reason though, a few in fact. The main one being this: I'm a Mommy!
I have spent the last couple of months putting most of my focus on my son in an effort to help him reach those one-year-old milestones. As has been the case with most of Angel's milestones, he tends to accomplish them during the later half of the scale. He sat up on his own later, crawled later, and now seems to want to walk later. He is almost fourteen months now and has only taken a random single step here and there. I know he will walk when he is ready, but that does not mean that Mommy can't give him help and encouragement to accomplish this goal. I've also been spending more time working on words with him. It has come to my attention that once Angel says a word he doesn't really feel the need to repeat it again... ever! In fact, the only word he does say on a regular basis is Momma. And when I say regular I mean regular. Momma, momma, momma, momma momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma. Over and over and over and over again. Some days it's amusing and some days I have the urge to find earplugs. He has said all the normal words required of his age but since saying them once or twice he refuses to say them again and finds in quite amusing when Mommy tries to get him to say them. Stubborn and I have no idea where he gets it from. :-)
Then there was that added surprise back in January. Have you ever had the feeling something was happening and yet you just know that can't be it? Word of advice, always accept the feeling is right.
For those of you that may not have heard, I'm pregnant! Yup, it's true. I'm 12 1/2 weeks and due early September. I have never in my life been more shocked or surprised by anything as I was when I found out I was expecting Sweet Pea.
With Angel, he was still a surprise but something of an expected one since we had been trying for a year and a half to conceive. So his timing was a surprise but the blessing that is Angel had been planned for a long time. Sweet Pea, on the other hand, was a total and complete shocker. Such a shock, in fact, I almost hyperventilated when I saw that second line show up meaning positive. Never for a moment, even that first shocking one, did I not want him/her, but Nick and I had recently even talked about waiting another year for a second child. To tell you the truth, the thought of two kids under the age of two was a little scary. Some fears you just have to embrace and conquer though.
So between an independent, crazy toddler and the early stages of pregnancy I've been juggling a lot, but no more the most moms.
I promise to blog more with updates on my pregnancy, Angel's accomplishments, the life of an Army wife and marriage in general, and just being me!
I have spent the last couple of months putting most of my focus on my son in an effort to help him reach those one-year-old milestones. As has been the case with most of Angel's milestones, he tends to accomplish them during the later half of the scale. He sat up on his own later, crawled later, and now seems to want to walk later. He is almost fourteen months now and has only taken a random single step here and there. I know he will walk when he is ready, but that does not mean that Mommy can't give him help and encouragement to accomplish this goal. I've also been spending more time working on words with him. It has come to my attention that once Angel says a word he doesn't really feel the need to repeat it again... ever! In fact, the only word he does say on a regular basis is Momma. And when I say regular I mean regular. Momma, momma, momma, momma momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma. Over and over and over and over again. Some days it's amusing and some days I have the urge to find earplugs. He has said all the normal words required of his age but since saying them once or twice he refuses to say them again and finds in quite amusing when Mommy tries to get him to say them. Stubborn and I have no idea where he gets it from. :-)
Then there was that added surprise back in January. Have you ever had the feeling something was happening and yet you just know that can't be it? Word of advice, always accept the feeling is right.
For those of you that may not have heard, I'm pregnant! Yup, it's true. I'm 12 1/2 weeks and due early September. I have never in my life been more shocked or surprised by anything as I was when I found out I was expecting Sweet Pea.
With Angel, he was still a surprise but something of an expected one since we had been trying for a year and a half to conceive. So his timing was a surprise but the blessing that is Angel had been planned for a long time. Sweet Pea, on the other hand, was a total and complete shocker. Such a shock, in fact, I almost hyperventilated when I saw that second line show up meaning positive. Never for a moment, even that first shocking one, did I not want him/her, but Nick and I had recently even talked about waiting another year for a second child. To tell you the truth, the thought of two kids under the age of two was a little scary. Some fears you just have to embrace and conquer though.
So between an independent, crazy toddler and the early stages of pregnancy I've been juggling a lot, but no more the most moms.
I promise to blog more with updates on my pregnancy, Angel's accomplishments, the life of an Army wife and marriage in general, and just being me!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Blessings in the new year
I'm not a resolutions kind of person when it comes to the new year. My thought is resolutions are generally lies we tell ourselves so we can feel better about starting a new year. :-) I don't bother. A new year is just that, a new year. I've never considered it to be anything more than a change in the calendar.
I've changed though. Maybe it has more to do with my son's birthday then the change in the calendar but every new year is a new beginning now. It's another year I get to watch Angel grow and change and become the amazing boy I know he will be. With that thought I get to see my family grow and change as well.
I get to see myself grow and change as a mother. I get to watch my husband grow and change as a father. I even get to see my marriage grow and change as we juggle being a couple and parents.
My son is the most amazing gift in my life. Every moment of every day is my greatest blessing and I'm so thankful for every second I get to have him in my life. He brings me so much joy and love and he teaches me so much as well. Angel makes me a better person and that makes me love him even more.
My husband is the most amazing man in my life. Though we have our rough moments we push through and we love each other more and more. We support each other and we are grateful for each other. We struggle to find that balance between couples and parents and sometimes we get lost but we always find our way back to each other and the love we share.
It's a new year yet again and this one is better then the last. This year I am even more grateful for last year and for the year ahead of me. This year I know more love with my husband and my son. This year I know more joy. This year I know more hope.
This year I am grateful for all the my blessing that I start with and for all the ones ahead of me.
I've changed though. Maybe it has more to do with my son's birthday then the change in the calendar but every new year is a new beginning now. It's another year I get to watch Angel grow and change and become the amazing boy I know he will be. With that thought I get to see my family grow and change as well.
I get to see myself grow and change as a mother. I get to watch my husband grow and change as a father. I even get to see my marriage grow and change as we juggle being a couple and parents.
My son is the most amazing gift in my life. Every moment of every day is my greatest blessing and I'm so thankful for every second I get to have him in my life. He brings me so much joy and love and he teaches me so much as well. Angel makes me a better person and that makes me love him even more.
My husband is the most amazing man in my life. Though we have our rough moments we push through and we love each other more and more. We support each other and we are grateful for each other. We struggle to find that balance between couples and parents and sometimes we get lost but we always find our way back to each other and the love we share.
It's a new year yet again and this one is better then the last. This year I am even more grateful for last year and for the year ahead of me. This year I know more love with my husband and my son. This year I know more joy. This year I know more hope.
This year I am grateful for all the my blessing that I start with and for all the ones ahead of me.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy birthday, Angel!
A year ago today, after fifteen hours of labor, I brought into this world a beautiful miracle. Angel Joaquin Corzo was born weighing 7 pounds and was 20 1/2 inches long. My son was for weeks premature and had a rough couple of first days but he was strong and beautiful and perfect. I have never in my life been more in love then that first moment I saw his crazy hair and big nose. My baby, my son, my Angel.
The last year has been an amazing journey watching him go from that tiny helpless baby to my independent, vocal, active, opinionated little boy. Good days and bad days. Long nights and fun days. Sickness and teething. Rolling over and learning to crawl. All those incredible moments when I marvel at the miracle that is him.
Today my Angel is a year old. No longer a baby, he is a toddler. He has taken his first step, spoken his first words, learn to express his emotions, and made me love him motte and more every day.
Happy birthday, Angel! Thank you for letting me watch you grow and learn in the last year. Thank you for being such an amazing blessing. Thank you for being my Peanut! I love you!
The last year has been an amazing journey watching him go from that tiny helpless baby to my independent, vocal, active, opinionated little boy. Good days and bad days. Long nights and fun days. Sickness and teething. Rolling over and learning to crawl. All those incredible moments when I marvel at the miracle that is him.
Today my Angel is a year old. No longer a baby, he is a toddler. He has taken his first step, spoken his first words, learn to express his emotions, and made me love him motte and more every day.
Happy birthday, Angel! Thank you for letting me watch you grow and learn in the last year. Thank you for being such an amazing blessing. Thank you for being my Peanut! I love you!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Turning 33
Age is just a number. I've always felt that and I've always believed that. We are as young or as old as we feel. When I was sixteen I felt thirty-five. After long days chasing Angel around I feel like a hundred and fifty. Today though, I am thirty-three.
Yes, I am a Christmas Eve baby. I came screaming into this world at 8:02 pm December 24, 1978 and I have been screaming ever since. I've grown up and grown older with the typical issues associated with a holiday birthday. The ever typical two gifts in one was always my biggest peeve as a child. My birthday has nothing to do with the holiday that comes right after it. If your birthday is July 3 I don't hand you a sparkler and say happy birthday, do I? When you're a kid though all you want is your day filled with presents and cake and friends and more presents. My family always made an effort to separate the days and I will always be grateful for that.
Then I got older. See I'm an oddball in the sense that I actually still enjoy my birthday. I don't care about the number attached to it. I like that I have had another year, that I have experienced new things, that I'm still here. So I want the presents and the cake and the friends and more presents. I still wanted my separate day too. Today is my day and I didn't want it lost in the holiday.
Last year I was pregnant and married and turning thirty-two. I was an army wife in a new place with a new life and starting a new journey. I couldn't even begin to fathom what being thirty-two was going to be like, the adventures it would bring, the joys, the sorrows, the surprises. My husband got me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings last year and I thought they were the nicest gift ever.
A week and a half later I gave birth to my son. Maybe it was a little late but without a doubt, he has been the best gift I could have ever received.
Today I turned thirty-three. My husband got up and got my son up and changed. While I fed Angel Nick made me breakfast. For lunch/dinner he got me Chinese as has been my tradition for many many many years. My boys got me a wonderful new camera because it was all I wanted this year and I love it. And to top it all off, they got me a birthday cake. Yes, a birthday cake despite being told I was too old for one years ago.
It was the best birthday I have ever had and yet as wonderful as it was I only wanted one thing. For it to be tomorrow so I could give my little boy his first Christmas.
It isn't about me anymore. I will have more birthdays. I will grow up and grow older. I will always be grateful for the day and for the joys that come with it, but for the rest of my life my day will always come second to the days I want for my son.
Maybe it's because I have gotten older. Maybe it's because I've been a mom for almost a year now. Maybe it's because of something I can't put my finger on. All I know is thirty-three is still just a number and for every year that number goes up I'll be grateful I got to spend it with my wonderful husband and my amazing son.
Happy birthday to me!
Yes, I am a Christmas Eve baby. I came screaming into this world at 8:02 pm December 24, 1978 and I have been screaming ever since. I've grown up and grown older with the typical issues associated with a holiday birthday. The ever typical two gifts in one was always my biggest peeve as a child. My birthday has nothing to do with the holiday that comes right after it. If your birthday is July 3 I don't hand you a sparkler and say happy birthday, do I? When you're a kid though all you want is your day filled with presents and cake and friends and more presents. My family always made an effort to separate the days and I will always be grateful for that.
Then I got older. See I'm an oddball in the sense that I actually still enjoy my birthday. I don't care about the number attached to it. I like that I have had another year, that I have experienced new things, that I'm still here. So I want the presents and the cake and the friends and more presents. I still wanted my separate day too. Today is my day and I didn't want it lost in the holiday.
Last year I was pregnant and married and turning thirty-two. I was an army wife in a new place with a new life and starting a new journey. I couldn't even begin to fathom what being thirty-two was going to be like, the adventures it would bring, the joys, the sorrows, the surprises. My husband got me a pair of beautiful diamond earrings last year and I thought they were the nicest gift ever.
A week and a half later I gave birth to my son. Maybe it was a little late but without a doubt, he has been the best gift I could have ever received.
Today I turned thirty-three. My husband got up and got my son up and changed. While I fed Angel Nick made me breakfast. For lunch/dinner he got me Chinese as has been my tradition for many many many years. My boys got me a wonderful new camera because it was all I wanted this year and I love it. And to top it all off, they got me a birthday cake. Yes, a birthday cake despite being told I was too old for one years ago.
It was the best birthday I have ever had and yet as wonderful as it was I only wanted one thing. For it to be tomorrow so I could give my little boy his first Christmas.
It isn't about me anymore. I will have more birthdays. I will grow up and grow older. I will always be grateful for the day and for the joys that come with it, but for the rest of my life my day will always come second to the days I want for my son.
Maybe it's because I have gotten older. Maybe it's because I've been a mom for almost a year now. Maybe it's because of something I can't put my finger on. All I know is thirty-three is still just a number and for every year that number goes up I'll be grateful I got to spend it with my wonderful husband and my amazing son.
Happy birthday to me!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Going bald
I think I might be going bald. I would say I was going grey but since I was born with strands of grey hair that doesn't bother me. However, I do think I'm going bald because I'm quickly beginning to pull all my hair out.
Being the mother of a toddler is without a doubt exhausting. I spend more time trying to keep my son out of trouble then I do playing with him I think. He is everywhere and touching everything right now. Power outlets, surge protectors, the computer tower, the satellite box, the book shelf, every tiny piece of anything that isn't suppose to be on the floor, my shoes, my husband's boots, any unstable piece of furniture he can find, any anything else that you could think of that could hurt, maim, or kill Angel will find and/or do. He is your every day average toddler exploring the world around him and testing the limits his Mommy has set for him. I spend more time in my day saying "no, sir," "don't touch that," "come back here," I said no," "that's not safe," "that's dangerous," and my personal favorite "Angel Joaquin!" then any other phrase in a whole week.
If I walk into the laundry room he crawls in right behind me and goes for whatever he isn't suppose to have. If I go to the bathroom there he is playing with the scale. Into the bedroom and he goes right for my husband's PT shoes that are covered in mud. No matter where I go or what I do my little boy is on my heels and determined to wreck havoc right behind me.
In fact, it has taken me well over and hour to right this blog so far because I have had to save his life so many times. :-) Normally, I would have waited to write this but that was the experiment I was going for.
Laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, dusting, cleaning of any kind has to be done while he sleeps or else he tries to "help" me. Picking up toys, well he watches me pick them all up then goes and pulls them all back out. If I leave the baby gate down to the kitchen he crawls in and decides to play with Lieu's water bowl, my poor dog.
The best part of all those is the tantrum that comes when I do stop him/save him. Big sad crocodile tears and the loudest crying imaginable. I can tell him no in the sweetest voice ever but because he has begun to learn what he isn't suppose to do it's like I've screamed at him at the top of my lungs. It's really funny because ten seconds later he will laugh at me.
I'm exhausted and stressed out and going bald because I'm pulling all my hair out! It sounds horrible, doesn't it? Being a mom is without a doubt the hardest job I have ever had (including working for Lowe's). Being a mom though is the most amazing thing I have ever had the privilege of doing. I wouldn't trade a single moment of it. Angel is my miracle and though he drives me to my breaking point at times he is the reason I smile every day, the reason I laugh and sing silly songs and tickle till we cry. He makes me happy and grateful. I wouldn't trade my worst moment with him for my best moment before him.
So I'm going bald. They make wigs for women with that problem. Maybe I'll go blonde!
Being the mother of a toddler is without a doubt exhausting. I spend more time trying to keep my son out of trouble then I do playing with him I think. He is everywhere and touching everything right now. Power outlets, surge protectors, the computer tower, the satellite box, the book shelf, every tiny piece of anything that isn't suppose to be on the floor, my shoes, my husband's boots, any unstable piece of furniture he can find, any anything else that you could think of that could hurt, maim, or kill Angel will find and/or do. He is your every day average toddler exploring the world around him and testing the limits his Mommy has set for him. I spend more time in my day saying "no, sir," "don't touch that," "come back here," I said no," "that's not safe," "that's dangerous," and my personal favorite "Angel Joaquin!" then any other phrase in a whole week.
If I walk into the laundry room he crawls in right behind me and goes for whatever he isn't suppose to have. If I go to the bathroom there he is playing with the scale. Into the bedroom and he goes right for my husband's PT shoes that are covered in mud. No matter where I go or what I do my little boy is on my heels and determined to wreck havoc right behind me.
In fact, it has taken me well over and hour to right this blog so far because I have had to save his life so many times. :-) Normally, I would have waited to write this but that was the experiment I was going for.
Laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, dusting, cleaning of any kind has to be done while he sleeps or else he tries to "help" me. Picking up toys, well he watches me pick them all up then goes and pulls them all back out. If I leave the baby gate down to the kitchen he crawls in and decides to play with Lieu's water bowl, my poor dog.
The best part of all those is the tantrum that comes when I do stop him/save him. Big sad crocodile tears and the loudest crying imaginable. I can tell him no in the sweetest voice ever but because he has begun to learn what he isn't suppose to do it's like I've screamed at him at the top of my lungs. It's really funny because ten seconds later he will laugh at me.
I'm exhausted and stressed out and going bald because I'm pulling all my hair out! It sounds horrible, doesn't it? Being a mom is without a doubt the hardest job I have ever had (including working for Lowe's). Being a mom though is the most amazing thing I have ever had the privilege of doing. I wouldn't trade a single moment of it. Angel is my miracle and though he drives me to my breaking point at times he is the reason I smile every day, the reason I laugh and sing silly songs and tickle till we cry. He makes me happy and grateful. I wouldn't trade my worst moment with him for my best moment before him.
So I'm going bald. They make wigs for women with that problem. Maybe I'll go blonde!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
So thankful
So as previously stated, I'm not much for Thanksgiving. It's really only good for the day off in my opinion. So the subject of this blog is kind of ironic I think. I want to tell you what I'm thankful for.
My mornings start exactly the same every day and the end exactly the same every day and I'm more than thankful for that. It's this morning that reminds me what wonderful things I have in my life.
I wake up every morning to the sounds of my son playing in his crib. I have woken up to those same sounds for almost eleven months now and I have been grateful for every one of those mornings. I'm grateful for how patient he is while I make his breakfast and feed our dog, Lieu. I am grateful for that smile that greets me when I open his bedroom door and the way he reaches for me to pick him up out of bed. I'm grateful for the way he babbles at me while I change him and how he snuggles with me when he drinks his milk. For the way he smiles at me while I feed him and the way we dance when he is done. For the giggles I hear when I put him in the living room to play and the way he claps his hands when I turn Nick Jr. on. That's the start to my day every morning, rain or shine.
I end my days the same every day too. Curled up on the couch watching TV with a man that loves me and that I love more than anything. We watch a show or movie and hold hands or cuddle. We talk about our days and what we want to do tomorrow. I'm thankful for that time I get with him at the end of our busy days. I'm thankful for the way he smiles at me after four years together. I'm thankful that he appreciates the meals I cook for him, the house I clean, the child we have that I spend my days raising. I'm thankful for the work he does, the crap he has to put up with and that he does it so our family can be better. I'm thankful for the way he always hogs my blanket on the couch and I have to pull it out from under him because that means we will with curl up under it together after I get it. I'm thankful for the way we brush our teeth together and how he kisses me goodnight every night. I'm thankful that the last thing I hear every day is "I love you."
I'm thankful for the way my days start and for the way they end and for all the things in the middle. I'm thankful for my dog, Lieu, who has been my best friend for five and a half years now. Since the day she was born, my little white tipped tail puppy, she had been my love. I can't imagine my life without her. I'm thankful for text messages from my sister that tell me my beautiful niece has done something new and wonderful. I'm thankful for my mom who is willing to send me her gas card so we can spend Thanksgiving together. I'm thankful for my dad who calls randomly just to ask how his grandson is doing and for my step-mom who took the time to call and find out what size he is wearing for clothes for Christmas. I'm thankful for a brother-in-law who took the time to get to know me when other members of his family had decided to hate me. I'm thankful for both of my nieces and the amazing little girls they are. I'm thankful the army for giving my husband a job and for Lowe's. Without Lowe's I wouldn't have half of the amazing things in my life and I wouldn't know the love and joy I have every day.
So many more things to be thankful but those are some of the most important. I'm thankful for the blessing that is my family, for the little boy who randomly looks at me with a toothy grin, for the husband who walks by and kisses me, for my dog who just wants to love me. My blessings, big and small. I wouldn't trade a single one and I hope as I get older I am always as thankful as I am right now.
My mornings start exactly the same every day and the end exactly the same every day and I'm more than thankful for that. It's this morning that reminds me what wonderful things I have in my life.
I wake up every morning to the sounds of my son playing in his crib. I have woken up to those same sounds for almost eleven months now and I have been grateful for every one of those mornings. I'm grateful for how patient he is while I make his breakfast and feed our dog, Lieu. I am grateful for that smile that greets me when I open his bedroom door and the way he reaches for me to pick him up out of bed. I'm grateful for the way he babbles at me while I change him and how he snuggles with me when he drinks his milk. For the way he smiles at me while I feed him and the way we dance when he is done. For the giggles I hear when I put him in the living room to play and the way he claps his hands when I turn Nick Jr. on. That's the start to my day every morning, rain or shine.
I end my days the same every day too. Curled up on the couch watching TV with a man that loves me and that I love more than anything. We watch a show or movie and hold hands or cuddle. We talk about our days and what we want to do tomorrow. I'm thankful for that time I get with him at the end of our busy days. I'm thankful for the way he smiles at me after four years together. I'm thankful that he appreciates the meals I cook for him, the house I clean, the child we have that I spend my days raising. I'm thankful for the work he does, the crap he has to put up with and that he does it so our family can be better. I'm thankful for the way he always hogs my blanket on the couch and I have to pull it out from under him because that means we will with curl up under it together after I get it. I'm thankful for the way we brush our teeth together and how he kisses me goodnight every night. I'm thankful that the last thing I hear every day is "I love you."
I'm thankful for the way my days start and for the way they end and for all the things in the middle. I'm thankful for my dog, Lieu, who has been my best friend for five and a half years now. Since the day she was born, my little white tipped tail puppy, she had been my love. I can't imagine my life without her. I'm thankful for text messages from my sister that tell me my beautiful niece has done something new and wonderful. I'm thankful for my mom who is willing to send me her gas card so we can spend Thanksgiving together. I'm thankful for my dad who calls randomly just to ask how his grandson is doing and for my step-mom who took the time to call and find out what size he is wearing for clothes for Christmas. I'm thankful for a brother-in-law who took the time to get to know me when other members of his family had decided to hate me. I'm thankful for both of my nieces and the amazing little girls they are. I'm thankful the army for giving my husband a job and for Lowe's. Without Lowe's I wouldn't have half of the amazing things in my life and I wouldn't know the love and joy I have every day.
So many more things to be thankful but those are some of the most important. I'm thankful for the blessing that is my family, for the little boy who randomly looks at me with a toothy grin, for the husband who walks by and kisses me, for my dog who just wants to love me. My blessings, big and small. I wouldn't trade a single one and I hope as I get older I am always as thankful as I am right now.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Changing seasons
I love this time of year. I love the change in the air and the way the leaves fall. I love curling up under a blanket with my husband and watching my son crawl around in his footie pajamas. I love drinking hot chocolate and sipping warm soup. I love wearing big warm sweaters and wrapping myself up in my husband's arms to stay warm. With all these things in mind I add this, I hate being cold. I love all the things that come with it though.
I love racking leaves into a big pile and jumping in. I'm looking forward to the day when Angel is old enough to enjoy doing it with me. I love pulling on my fleece jacket I stole from my husband and going on evening walks with my family in the cool air. I love turning the heat and on getting my all too squirmy little boy to snuggle into my lap.
I love the approaching holiday too. So many things to look forward to and enjoy. I myself have never been very big on Thanksgiving. For me, I associate it with eating turkey and falling asleep watching football. I don't really like turkey and I hate football. So honestly, it's a day I could skip over. I do enjoy the other cooked goodies and the fact that my husband gets the day off so I will take it. This year we will be travelling to North Carolina for the holiday. Maybe I don't really like Thanksgiving but that doesn't mean I don't want Angel exposed to it and the family that loves him.
Then comes the fun of Christmas. Our first family Christmas with our son. I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to decorate and play Christmas carols and read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to Angel. I want to make cookies for him and do fun artwork. I want to take him to see Santa Claus and do milk and cookies on Christmas Eve. I know that for the most part he won't care about any of this. He won't quite be a year old yet. For me though, it's going to be the best Christmas ever.
I love spring and summer and swimming and be in the sun and going to the park and being warm. I love fall and winter though and the adventures that come with them.
So curl up with the ones you love. Your spouse, your children, your fur children, whoever you would like. Curl up with the ones you love and be thankful for the change in seasons that gives you a reason to curl.
I love racking leaves into a big pile and jumping in. I'm looking forward to the day when Angel is old enough to enjoy doing it with me. I love pulling on my fleece jacket I stole from my husband and going on evening walks with my family in the cool air. I love turning the heat and on getting my all too squirmy little boy to snuggle into my lap.
I love the approaching holiday too. So many things to look forward to and enjoy. I myself have never been very big on Thanksgiving. For me, I associate it with eating turkey and falling asleep watching football. I don't really like turkey and I hate football. So honestly, it's a day I could skip over. I do enjoy the other cooked goodies and the fact that my husband gets the day off so I will take it. This year we will be travelling to North Carolina for the holiday. Maybe I don't really like Thanksgiving but that doesn't mean I don't want Angel exposed to it and the family that loves him.
Then comes the fun of Christmas. Our first family Christmas with our son. I couldn't be more excited. I can't wait to decorate and play Christmas carols and read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to Angel. I want to make cookies for him and do fun artwork. I want to take him to see Santa Claus and do milk and cookies on Christmas Eve. I know that for the most part he won't care about any of this. He won't quite be a year old yet. For me though, it's going to be the best Christmas ever.
I love spring and summer and swimming and be in the sun and going to the park and being warm. I love fall and winter though and the adventures that come with them.
So curl up with the ones you love. Your spouse, your children, your fur children, whoever you would like. Curl up with the ones you love and be thankful for the change in seasons that gives you a reason to curl.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Bits and pieces
So it was recently pointed out to me by my fabulous cousin, Lindsey, that I'm a lot more creative then I realized.
I know there are a millions little bits and pieces that make up me but I suppose sometimes I forget about some of them. I'm a writer by heart. I have been since I was thirteen years old. I can remember the exact moment I decided that was who I wanted to be. I'm also a photographer (though not nearly as good as my baby sister who does it professionally). I can still picture the first photograph I ever took that made me think that was something I really enjoyed. After ten years working with children I am a master at creative kid art. I have the pine cone ornament I hang on my Christmas tree every year that I made in high school with my first class. Crayons, paint, glitter, string, glue, macaroni. You name it and I can create something with it. Or at the very least help a really cute kid create a really cool picture.
There is something that I forget about on a regular basis though. Something I've been doing since I was five years old. My grandmother, my dad's mother, taught me how to crochet. When she passed away years ago she left me rolls and rolls of unused yarn so that I could continue to do what she had taught me. So here I am at almost thirty-three and I have continued to create with the skill she passed on to me. My son came home from the hospital wrapped in a blanket I made him. My niece spends her weekends playing with the purple blanket I made her before she was born. I'm in the process of making my previously mentioned cousin, Lindsey, a blanket for the little girl she is expecting. (Speaking of Lindsey, you should follow her blog. She's kind of awesome. http://morethanamommydiary.blogspot.com/) I love crocheting. I love creating something that someone can wrap themselves in. I love creating something that you can wrap someone you love in. I'm good at it too and I like getting compliments on my talent and I like that people appreciate the things I make.
So when my awesome cousin suggested I should sell the things I create I thought why not. I love doing it and you know what they say. Do what you love. So between being a wife, a mom, a writer, a photographer, and everything else I'm not making blankets. Find me on Facebook if you're interested. Wrapped In Love http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wrapped-In-Love/305100199517230.
Anyone the point in this post is to say thank you to Lindsey and to point out that there are a million bits and pieces to who we are. Don't forget about the ones you might not use every day because sometimes those are the pieces that make you the most interesting person in the world.
I know there are a millions little bits and pieces that make up me but I suppose sometimes I forget about some of them. I'm a writer by heart. I have been since I was thirteen years old. I can remember the exact moment I decided that was who I wanted to be. I'm also a photographer (though not nearly as good as my baby sister who does it professionally). I can still picture the first photograph I ever took that made me think that was something I really enjoyed. After ten years working with children I am a master at creative kid art. I have the pine cone ornament I hang on my Christmas tree every year that I made in high school with my first class. Crayons, paint, glitter, string, glue, macaroni. You name it and I can create something with it. Or at the very least help a really cute kid create a really cool picture.
There is something that I forget about on a regular basis though. Something I've been doing since I was five years old. My grandmother, my dad's mother, taught me how to crochet. When she passed away years ago she left me rolls and rolls of unused yarn so that I could continue to do what she had taught me. So here I am at almost thirty-three and I have continued to create with the skill she passed on to me. My son came home from the hospital wrapped in a blanket I made him. My niece spends her weekends playing with the purple blanket I made her before she was born. I'm in the process of making my previously mentioned cousin, Lindsey, a blanket for the little girl she is expecting. (Speaking of Lindsey, you should follow her blog. She's kind of awesome. http://morethanamommydiary.blogspot.com/) I love crocheting. I love creating something that someone can wrap themselves in. I love creating something that you can wrap someone you love in. I'm good at it too and I like getting compliments on my talent and I like that people appreciate the things I make.
So when my awesome cousin suggested I should sell the things I create I thought why not. I love doing it and you know what they say. Do what you love. So between being a wife, a mom, a writer, a photographer, and everything else I'm not making blankets. Find me on Facebook if you're interested. Wrapped In Love http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wrapped-In-Love/305100199517230.
Anyone the point in this post is to say thank you to Lindsey and to point out that there are a million bits and pieces to who we are. Don't forget about the ones you might not use every day because sometimes those are the pieces that make you the most interesting person in the world.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Happy Halloween and Blessed Be
Growing up I was like most kids. I loved Halloween for the candy and the costumes. It was always so much fun trying to figure out who I wanted to be and how much sugar I could get my hands on. As I got older it lost some of it's appeal but I still enjoyed it. I was never the teenager that went to costume parties so I lost myself in my younger sister's enjoyment of the holiday.
When I found my religion I found a new love for today. Samhain, the Wiccan new year. Its a day of new beginnings for me. I still loved the costumes and candy but I also found I loved new aspects of myself in that day because of my religion.
Today though was a new beginning of a different kind. Today I got to take my beautiful blessing and the world's cutest dinosaur, my son Angel, trick or treating with my husband. Today I celebrated the day with my family. I got that joy back I had as a kid. And even though Angel had no earthly idea what was going on and can't eat any of the candy he got I know today was important for my family.
Five years ago I never imagined I would have this experience in my memories. To walk about around army post housing with my husband carrying our almost ten-month-old is a dream come true for me. Watching my little boy stare at all the strange beings walking around was so funny. Seeing my husband take so much pride in how cute our son looked was so touching. Knowing they are my family is my miracle.
Though recently I have lost touch with my religion, today reminded me why I have faith in my beliefs. I am going to make an effort to find my way back to my beliefs and to show gratitude for those that control our fates. They gave me this beautiful blessing that was tonight after all.
Happy Halloween. Happy Samhain. Blessed Be!
When I found my religion I found a new love for today. Samhain, the Wiccan new year. Its a day of new beginnings for me. I still loved the costumes and candy but I also found I loved new aspects of myself in that day because of my religion.
Today though was a new beginning of a different kind. Today I got to take my beautiful blessing and the world's cutest dinosaur, my son Angel, trick or treating with my husband. Today I celebrated the day with my family. I got that joy back I had as a kid. And even though Angel had no earthly idea what was going on and can't eat any of the candy he got I know today was important for my family.
Five years ago I never imagined I would have this experience in my memories. To walk about around army post housing with my husband carrying our almost ten-month-old is a dream come true for me. Watching my little boy stare at all the strange beings walking around was so funny. Seeing my husband take so much pride in how cute our son looked was so touching. Knowing they are my family is my miracle.
Though recently I have lost touch with my religion, today reminded me why I have faith in my beliefs. I am going to make an effort to find my way back to my beliefs and to show gratitude for those that control our fates. They gave me this beautiful blessing that was tonight after all.
Happy Halloween. Happy Samhain. Blessed Be!
Friday, October 28, 2011
One step at a time
So here we are four years after the accident that changed my life. The doctor says there is no medical reason for the pain I have been experiencing and since the pain has past I'm going to chalk it up to a passing injury. Maybe I pulled something or hurt it in a way I didn't realize. Regardless, I'm feeling better now and that's the most important thing.
I did learn a few things. One is that the smaller bone on the outside of my leg never healed. Funny, the surgeon told me it would heal without them having to do anything. I'm not worried though because it's not a weight-bearing bone. I also learned that my ankle has begun to show signs of ware. Kind of like when your tires start to lose their tread. I guess my ankle is losing some of it's tread. I knew something like that was a possibility. You don't do the kind of damage I did and not have long term consequences.
The good news is I am starting physical therapy next week. I need my mobility and my strength back because with every passing day Angel gets closer and closer to walking. In no time I'm going to be chasing my little boy around like crazy and I won't miss out on that because of a stupid injury.
I'm excited about this. I'm excited about being able to walk without pain, to run around the park, to be normal again. Or maybe not completely normal but very close. I'm excited to be a mom who has fun with her little boy.
Things are looking up for me. I may have my bad days just like anyone else but things are definitely looking up. I just have to take it one step at a time.
I did learn a few things. One is that the smaller bone on the outside of my leg never healed. Funny, the surgeon told me it would heal without them having to do anything. I'm not worried though because it's not a weight-bearing bone. I also learned that my ankle has begun to show signs of ware. Kind of like when your tires start to lose their tread. I guess my ankle is losing some of it's tread. I knew something like that was a possibility. You don't do the kind of damage I did and not have long term consequences.
The good news is I am starting physical therapy next week. I need my mobility and my strength back because with every passing day Angel gets closer and closer to walking. In no time I'm going to be chasing my little boy around like crazy and I won't miss out on that because of a stupid injury.
I'm excited about this. I'm excited about being able to walk without pain, to run around the park, to be normal again. Or maybe not completely normal but very close. I'm excited to be a mom who has fun with her little boy.
Things are looking up for me. I may have my bad days just like anyone else but things are definitely looking up. I just have to take it one step at a time.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Don't blink
Wow, I can't believe it has been a month since my last blog. My apologizes to anyone following and may have missed my ramblings.
So much has happened in the last month I'm not sure where to begin.
My wonderful husband and I celebrated two years of marriage on October 1st. My mom came down for the weekend with my adorable niece and stayed with our son so we could have a weekend together. We booked a room at the Riverstreet Inn in Savannah, GA and had a romantic getaway. Just the two of us in a historic city, staying in a beautiful room, spending some much needed time together. It was wonderful. I still can't believe it has been two years already. Seems like just yesterday we were standing in the depressing room in front of a complete stranger committing to words neither one of us remember even hearing. We took the plunge in the simplest form because he was leaving in two weeks for basic training. Some day there may be a grand affair to celebrate the life we have built together, but on that day two years ago all we needed was each other. That's still true today. My husband always says it is me and him against the world. Well now it is me, him and Angel against the world but the feeling is still the same. It's been a crazy two years with a lot of ups and downs and some life changing changes. We've hung in there and made it through. I couldn't ask for a better man to spend my life with. Especially since I never thought I would spend it with anyone at all. My husband is my hero in every sense of the word. Two years down and this is only the beginning.
My beautiful little boy has acquired three words and he is only nine months old. Momma (of course), Dada (though that's not what we call my husband), and Papa (which is suppose to be Papi but we are working on that). We are working on Lieu (our dog and she is also Angel's best friend), more, and night-night. He is also starting to sign the world milk which makes me very happy.
Angel has also mastered crawling and is now crab walking and pulling up. He will even walk while holding on to my hands. While I am the proudest mom ever at all of these new accomplishments I am just a little sad at how fast it has all happened. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was sleeping on the couch with my little Snuggle Bear curled up on top of me? He just came home and already he is running for the door it feels like. Being a mom takes everything you have and takes it fast, but oh, the outcome is so worth it.
My husband found out his reenlistment option opens up in January. That means in that in less then six months we could be PCSing (moving for civilians) to another post. My husband desperately wants to go to Hawaii. His oldest brother was stationed there and is still there with his wife and daughter. Vinnie is the only one Nick is still close with in his family and it would mean a lot for them to be able to reconnect on a more basic face to face level. Not to mention I would love to meet my niece Kairi and have them meet Angel. At the same time the thought of leaving all of my family and going so far away is hard. I know this comes with being an army wife but that doesn't mean it is easy. We will see what happens in January.
Last week I had a CT scan done on my leg. The pain had actually stopped for about a week but oddly enough came back after the scan. I have a doctor's appointment on the 24th to discuss the results and see what is going on. Maybe I can actually get some help this time around.
Halloween is a week away and my little boy will spend his first Halloween as a dinosaur. I'm trying to teach him to say "roar" but I don't know if that going to happen in time. Then right around the corner is Thanksgiving which we will be going back to North Carolina for. Following very close behind is my husband's 24th birthday, my 33rd birthday, Angel's first Christmas, New Year's, and then my baby will be a year old on January 2nd.
Its flying by, time. I blinked two years of marriage went by. I glanced and my newborn is crawling across the room. I'm taking a deep breath and holding on tight to the ride I'm on. It's better then any amusement park in the world.
So much has happened in the last month I'm not sure where to begin.
My wonderful husband and I celebrated two years of marriage on October 1st. My mom came down for the weekend with my adorable niece and stayed with our son so we could have a weekend together. We booked a room at the Riverstreet Inn in Savannah, GA and had a romantic getaway. Just the two of us in a historic city, staying in a beautiful room, spending some much needed time together. It was wonderful. I still can't believe it has been two years already. Seems like just yesterday we were standing in the depressing room in front of a complete stranger committing to words neither one of us remember even hearing. We took the plunge in the simplest form because he was leaving in two weeks for basic training. Some day there may be a grand affair to celebrate the life we have built together, but on that day two years ago all we needed was each other. That's still true today. My husband always says it is me and him against the world. Well now it is me, him and Angel against the world but the feeling is still the same. It's been a crazy two years with a lot of ups and downs and some life changing changes. We've hung in there and made it through. I couldn't ask for a better man to spend my life with. Especially since I never thought I would spend it with anyone at all. My husband is my hero in every sense of the word. Two years down and this is only the beginning.
My beautiful little boy has acquired three words and he is only nine months old. Momma (of course), Dada (though that's not what we call my husband), and Papa (which is suppose to be Papi but we are working on that). We are working on Lieu (our dog and she is also Angel's best friend), more, and night-night. He is also starting to sign the world milk which makes me very happy.
Angel has also mastered crawling and is now crab walking and pulling up. He will even walk while holding on to my hands. While I am the proudest mom ever at all of these new accomplishments I am just a little sad at how fast it has all happened. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was sleeping on the couch with my little Snuggle Bear curled up on top of me? He just came home and already he is running for the door it feels like. Being a mom takes everything you have and takes it fast, but oh, the outcome is so worth it.
My husband found out his reenlistment option opens up in January. That means in that in less then six months we could be PCSing (moving for civilians) to another post. My husband desperately wants to go to Hawaii. His oldest brother was stationed there and is still there with his wife and daughter. Vinnie is the only one Nick is still close with in his family and it would mean a lot for them to be able to reconnect on a more basic face to face level. Not to mention I would love to meet my niece Kairi and have them meet Angel. At the same time the thought of leaving all of my family and going so far away is hard. I know this comes with being an army wife but that doesn't mean it is easy. We will see what happens in January.
Last week I had a CT scan done on my leg. The pain had actually stopped for about a week but oddly enough came back after the scan. I have a doctor's appointment on the 24th to discuss the results and see what is going on. Maybe I can actually get some help this time around.
Halloween is a week away and my little boy will spend his first Halloween as a dinosaur. I'm trying to teach him to say "roar" but I don't know if that going to happen in time. Then right around the corner is Thanksgiving which we will be going back to North Carolina for. Following very close behind is my husband's 24th birthday, my 33rd birthday, Angel's first Christmas, New Year's, and then my baby will be a year old on January 2nd.
Its flying by, time. I blinked two years of marriage went by. I glanced and my newborn is crawling across the room. I'm taking a deep breath and holding on tight to the ride I'm on. It's better then any amusement park in the world.
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