Keeping my head up

So remember how I brushed over that reference to pain in my leg yesterday. Well today I'm going to elaborate.

There are three titanium plates and thirteen screws in my right leg from that accident four years ago. Every day of my life I feel that hardware and I have become use to it. It's a part of me. Like my hair or my fingernails or the scar running down my leg where is was broken in the first place. It's an ugly scare too. I hate it. It is the first thing I see about myself when I see pictures of me in shorts and skirts. That hideous twelve inch scar running down the front of my right leg and the two inches that it runs to the left at the bottom. That scar is part of me though and has been for four years. Just like those plates and screws.

Now I feel pain every day. I've mentioned that before, but the pain I deal with on a daily basis is always in my ankle and I have learned to deal with it and push through it. Some things will never change or go away and you learn to make the best of it.

However in the last two weeks a new pain has appeared. A burning, sharp, often times unbearable pain and not in my ankle. This pain radiates at the top of the twelve inch scar where the surgeons cut my leg and put the plates and screws. There are moments where is it so bad that I burst in to tears and can not speak and the moments are becoming more and more frequent. My biggest fear is that this pain will strike me at a moment when my son is in my arms.

So I bit the bullet and called the doctor. For those of you that know me, you know I absolutely hate going to the doctor. In fact, the only time I ever enjoyed going was when I was pregnant because it meant learning my little boy was growing and healthy. I called though and got an appointment for this morning. Well two hours before said appointment I got a call cancelling. Why? Because the doctor it was with is no longer with them. (Anyone in the military or married to the military will learn this is far too normal a circumstance.) So I have another appointment on Monday morning.

My fear is this: more surgery. I've already had two dealing with this when it all happened followed by three months of bed rest and six months total of not walking on the leg at all. I can not go through that again. Not just because I don't want to but because I have a husband to take care of and a son to raise.

I'm hoping this is nothing and that it can be dealt with quickly and easily so keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm going to need all the luck I can get come Monday morning.

Time flies...

When you're having fun, but usually it flies by even faster when you're busy. Boy have I been busy. Between a sick baby, an injured husband, and a sick dog its a wonderful I haven't aged twenty years. Or maybe I have. :-)

It seems like every time I turn around something else is going on. First my sweet little boy started day care and that lead to him getting a cold that lead to an ear infection. That was followed by my sweet dog, Lieu getting her own ear infections and heart worms that cost over $300 in vet bills. To top it all off, my husband got hit in the face with a fire extinguisher followed by an infection from a spider bite that ended with a pulled muscle in his back. So if it could go wrong in the last month it has.

So besides what I am hoping is a minor issue with the broken leg from four years ago things are quieting down. The holidays are approaching quickly. And I know the next few months will fly by as well.

My two-year anniversary is in less two weeks. I can believe it. I've been married for two years and it's been a crazy two years. Basic training, AIT, a pregnancy, moving away from home to a new place, giving birth to a beautiful little boy and watching him grow, and falling more and more in love with the most amazing man.

In a month is Halloween, my favorite holiday. Angel's first Halloween. I can't wait to decorate and buy his first costume and take him treat or treating. Not so he can get lots of candy, but so I can show him off to the world.

In just over two months my husband will be twenty-four followed shortly by my own thirty-third birthday. Growing up and getting older. Not too mention it will be the first birthday for each of us as parents. A whole new spin on celebrating your own life.

Then comes Christmas. Angel's first Christmas. I can't wait to teach him the magic of Santa Claus and sugar cookies and decorating the tree and singing the songs. Not the presents, though we will enjoy spoiling him, but the other joys that come with the holiday.

Then the big day! Angel's first birthday! A celebration of a life that began with a rough few days and has become the most amazing little boy a mom can ask for. In less the four months I will celebrate my greatest miracle and begin the journey of his second year and all the amazing things he will teach me then.

It's going to be a crazy few months ahead but I promise to try and keep up with the blog more. And thanks to my two favorite bloggers who also posted today. You kicked my butt in to gear and I appreciate that. Oh and congratulations! To Lindsey for your amazing blessing and to John for your own blessing.

Off to enjoy my life and see if I can get it to slow down just a bit...