Better by me

I am far from the most unselfish person in the world. I have begun to think about myself less and less though as I became a wife and mother. There just always seems to be something more important to me then me. A house that needs to be cleaned, Angel's laundry needs to be folded, Nick's class A's need to be ironed, the dogs need a bath. When all that is done I'll sit down. When I'm finished I'll eat something. When I think about it I'll get a haircut. It's not that they maybe more important but just feel more important to me in that moment.

I don't mind though. I like helping my husband. I want my son to be happy and have everything he wants and needs. I need to spend more time with my dogs so they know I still love them even though we have another person in our family. I enjoy having a clean house that I can walk barefoot in and my baby can play on the floor. Nick's haircuts are more important then mine because they are work related. Angel is growing so fast he needs clothes more then I do. My dogs, Lieu and Charlie, are outside in the heat and dirt so they need to be brushed and bathed to feel comfortable. These things matter more to me then sitting down to rest or read my books or watch my shoes without having to hit pause 16 times and I'm okay with that.

I need to do better by me though so I can do better by the people in my life. I'm running myself ragged, my hair is frizzy from needing a haircut, I haven't bought new clothes that didn't have to do with being pregnant in over a year. I'm a mess because I'm trying so hard to keep everything else from becoming a mess.

If I'm too tired then I can't play with my son. If I have crazy hair and ragged clothes then I can't be beautiful for my husband. If I'm too busy scrubbing the walls I can't love on my dogs. Not too mention if I am too tired, ragged and busy then I can't enjoy being me.

So I am going to start being better by me. I'm going to sit down once in a while. I'm going to get a haircut... soon. Maybe I'll get my nails done this week. As for the new clothes, well I've lost 8 pounds this week so maybe I'll put shopping off for a bit till I see where that goes.

I am going to start taking better care of myself for me and for my family. Get more sleep, eat better, exercise more, and take some time for myself. If I don't put me first once in a while then there could come a day when I'm not around to put anyone else first. I'm not going to let that happen.