Getting older

Twenty years ago I was only twelve years old. My little sister was only two. My husband, though we hadn't get met, was only three. I had just recently figured out I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I had not intentions of marrying or having kids and was unsure if I would go to college.

Oh how things have changed.

I'm thirty-two now. My little sister has become a beautiful woman at twenty-two. My husband, though I tease him about being only twelve, is now twenty-three. I have had a couple of careers, none of which included writing. I am approaching my second anniversary and have the word's cutest baby.

Somewhere along the way I grew up and I grew older. You never think you're going to get older. Sure you spend your youth counting down the days till sixteen, eighteen, twenty-one. Everything after that just seems old when you're waiting to grow up.

I don't feel old though. I feel like I'm finally getting started. Maybe I've spent the last thirty years to figure out what I wanted. Sure I weigh more, sure I have more wrinkles. Of course, I need more then four hours of sleep to function and I don't throw back beers like water anymore. Maybe all of that was killing time till I was ready to really get started with my life.

I still have some questions about where it's going. I am still wondering if I will ever see my name in print. I am still deciding if I have something more to offer the world other then being a wife and mother.

I had a decade of raising other people's children. I spent almost five years serving others and loathing every second. I have had two careers and I have just begun another much more important one.

I have less patience for the stupid people in the world. I am kinder to the less fortunate. I plan ahead now where I use to just wing it.

When I look at myself in the mirror I wonder at the woman who looks back. Does she recognize me? Is she happy with who she sees? Is this who she wanted to see when she grew up? Sometimes I look at her and I try to find the girl she use to be. Is that little girl happy with who she became?

I am getting older and while the days are passing I am noticing a couple of things. I am not the woman I thought I would be but I like this version better. I was going through the motions till it was time for my life to begin. The last thirty years have been practice and lessons learned that I can tell my son about.

I'm getting older and enjoying every moment of it.