Push through it

I took my son for a walk the other day. Doesn't seem like much, right? Mommies take their babies on walks all the time. This isn't the first time I took him on a walk either. The difference is this time hurt.

I know I've mentioned my broke leg/ankle before but let me add a little more. I pulverized the bone in my leg that sent fractures down into my ankle and did permanent damage to the surrounding nerves and muscles. This means for the rest of my life I will limp and for the rest of my life every step I take will be painful. Most days the pain is nothing. I've become so use to it that its almost like it doesn't hurt anymore. It does though. Every step, every time I stand up, even sometimes when I sit if I brace my foot in the wrong way. That's my life though and four years ago I had to learn to deal with the consequences of my accident.

I have a beautiful little boy now that I adore with all my heart. I can not wait for the days I can chase him around the house and play soccer with him outside. I will be that mom too because I have learned there are some things more important then pain.

Like going on a walk with your son. Some days there is more pain then others and the thought of walking from the bedroom to the living room is painful. Then you add in the swelling and you could just shoot me and put me out of my misery. Then I hear my son talking and I know he's hungry. Or he needs a diaper change. Or he just wants a hug from him Mommy. So I push through the pain because he is more important then my pain. Just like I know if I needed to, if he needed me to, I could walk ten miles barefoot, stand for twelve hours on hot coals, work for four years at a job I couldn't stand. There are more important things then pain.

So today's lesson is this. Push through it. Find that something that is more important to you. Your child, your siblings, your job, your friends, your dreams. Whatever you need it to be you find it. Then you push through your pain because there are things more important in life then your pain. Don't wallow in it, don't be defined by it. I won't be.

When I die I will not be remember as the woman with the limp who always hurt. I will be remembered as a mom who loved her son, a wife who was proud of her husband, a woman who went after her dreams. Every day I push through it because every day I know if I push through it I get stronger. If I get stronger then I am stronger for the people I love. I could sit all day and wallow in my pain. Or I could push through it and embrace my very blessed life.

What's your choice?